Heartbreak is something that unfortunately many of us have to experience at least once in our lifetime. If you've ever been heart broken you'll have personally shaken hands with rock bottom. Heart break can be received unexpectedly and out of the blue or it can be seen coming up on the horizon over a period of time. Either way the heart is still going to fell the same level of pain, like it has been ripped out, set alight and thrown back into your chest with no windows for you to escape the toxic fumes. Many of us don't seek the correct therapy for a broken heart, as the heart needs to be nurtured ever so carefully in order to make a full recovery. The heart is a muscle just like any other and needs to be worked in order for us to deal with the emotional strains that we pace it through over our lifespans. On the flip side, the beauty to heart break is that there is nothing stronger than a man/woman rebuilding themselves when their heart is broken.
Cut of Contact.
It can seem to be heartless, although this is exactly what you need in taking those first few steps to rebuilding your broken heart. Constant reminders will only prolong the recovery process and you won’t be focusing on healing yourself. The human mind is a complex machine, it wants what it can no longer have. This is the time where you need to control these thoughts, as time spent investigating what the other may be doing or what could have been is only going to drain your energy.
Let Yourself Feel It.
One of the most common mistakes that we make during times of grief is we try to ignore our emotions. Feelings need to be felt and the heart needs to understand pain in order to gain control and overcome the pain in the long run. By avoiding your mind to wonder into thoughts of grief and anxiety we are restricting ourselves the oxygen of healing that comes with adversity. Pain must be felt, but it doesn’t have to be alone. Yes when it’s bed time, the lights are off and your mind has you all to itself can be daunting and does take time to control. Talk to yourself, let emotions flow in and out as they please and reassure yourself that it's fine to feel this way, I'm okay I can control this, it will pass. Another nessisety is to talk openly about your emotions, the more times you repeat a story the less emotion will be attached in your voice and it will just become a simple story over time, as your brain has had time to process the raw pain, it’s now just a story.
Spend Time Alone.
This is the kicker, the one that everyone fails to openly admit is the hardest stage to control. Being alone will help you discover who you are, how your mind works in this clustered world and plan your next moves. Try not to overload yourself with catchups and activities, and of course being active and social is great and are key to recovery after heart break. Although being to busy that we just keep going and going and going, scheduling in catch ups with every friend on our contact list, in an attempt to avoid being alone, will only drain your energy and the mind will slip into a negative state, because you've exhausted yourself. Time alone is the most important stage in any healing process, it allows our minds to process the situations that have occurred.
Learn Something New.
Get out of your comfort zone, try something you’ve never tried. An example can be through dance, yes learn a dance style. Dancing often generates a smile and those feel good endorphins which can release dopamine in your brain as you're healing through movement. You often find positivity and laughter in these environments, and who doesn't like laughter. If you can learn something new that involves some sort of social interaction, you'll be taking big leaps in your healing process as social support has been proven to be vital to a broken heart recovery. Social interaction provides and opportunity for the mind to kick back into gear, back to basics of interacting with others. The mind needs to create new memories and engaging in new interactions can be the best way to get yourself writing the next chapter in your life story.
Have an Outlet.
You need to have an outlet, whether it’s physical, mental or spiritual. You may lift weights, read or meditate. Having an outlet it vital to healing, it allows the brain to release new endorphins into the body creating feel good sensations that fuel our soul. If you don’t have an outlet, your trapping your mind up in a solitary confined prison where memories and reasoning create friction and it’s only a matter of time before the explosion sets off.
Understanding Your Contribution to the Ending.
Being able to identify what you contributed to the ending of that relationship is vital in moving forward, especially as you seek new relationships. By being real with yourself you will get to understand how you felt and what reactions occurred during those times of floundering. Self evaluation teaches us what went wrong and what worked in relationships, things you will want to correct or even develope for future relationships.
Don’t Rebound.
It would almost be a shame if you were to jump into the next relationship, you need to give yourself time to heal. It may seem cliché, although time does heal all wounds and helps you to process the grief that you’ve just experienced. Friends will edge you to hook up with the next available bachelor/ bachelorette who cross your path, but take your time, there's no rush. As the saying goes ‘the best way to get over someone is to get under someone’. These actions will no doubt create feel good sensations for however long it lasts, but it will not heal the void in your heart. You will not find the cure for a broken heart sharing a bed with another as the distraction will temporarily disguise your heart ache.
You Will Love Again.
Don’t give up on love, yes you are hurting and the light at the end of the tunnel is ever so dull and faint in the distant. But your heart will mend, it may take a month, a year or even longer. But do know this, your heart will beat again, you will find a rhythm in the simplest of moments you’ll find a smile appear out of know where and you’ll find your beating back into life. People often distant themselves when they’re heart broken as if to say love failed them. When in fact, it wasn’t love that failed them it was the other person who didn’t know how to love who failed them. The day you realize that love is and will always be on your side, you’ll allow love to flow back into your heart and it will flourish your soul and you will glow. Oh you will glow.
